A Talking Puppet Movie That's Not (that) Creepy

Everything about Pinocchio is a huge step-up from Snow White: the animation, the script, the pacing, the voice work, the music. This was the first animated movie to win an Oscar (Snow White only earned an honorary one): Best Song (Disney is going to get a lot of those in the future) and Best Score. All the acclaim still being given to this movie feels more rightfully earned than Snow White's (which I argue only because it was THE first, not necessarily based on the film on its own merit). Not saying Snow White is a bad movie, just that all that extra praise leads to it to being overrated. But hey she's still a Disney Princess who earns $$$ for the company, which is not bad as well, because $$$ for Disney = awesome (and sometimes not so awesome) movies for the rest of us. (and contributes to their plans for world domination)

With that said, ahem: DON'T LET YOUR VERY YOUNG CHILDREN WATCH THIS MOVIE BY THEMSELVES. Now there's some toddlers out there who are much braver than the rest of them, but please don't take that chance. I never saw this movie as a child and I don't consider myself deprived because of it. I was an easily frightened, extremely socially awkward (some things never change) child and if I saw this movie, not sure how I would feel about whales, Italians with long beards and mustaches, and English-accented coachmen today. Ironically this movie wouldn't aggravate my automatonophobia (scroll down to the bottom of my Snow White review for an explanation), I rooted for little Pinocchio during his adventures. As cute and charming as this movie is, it's pretty messed up in some parts (but in a good way?). The original book's (like the Grimm fairy tales) version is way more messed up though.

We start off with Jiminy Cricket singing When You Wish Upon a Star, which is practically the company's flagship tune. You hear it in the parks, the stores, the commercials, all of the Disney Cruise ships blare it so no man whether on land or sea can ever escape it.

Jiminy asks if we think it's pretty silly to think wishing on stars make dreams come true (a Disney staple for the longest time with some current backlash that the company even tries to amend in some of their movies). I thought this movie was going to skip on the storybook opening...

Since Jiminy is doing it, is it meta?

Because Snow White was such a huge success, Disney wanted more celebrity voices for his next film. This was back in the golden age of radio and when celebrity voices = voice actor talent. Nowadays it's more a cash grab name to stick on the trailer so parents will be like, "Hey famous person is in that movie, maybe I'll bear sitting through a 90 min animated movie my kids wants me to drag them to." You may not know who Dickie Jones and Cliff "Ukulele Ike" Edwards were, but you remember the voices of Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket.

Jiminy arrives at Geppetto's cottage right when he's finished up making Pinocchio. If you miss the cute little forest animals from Snow White, there's little Figaro the kitten and Cleo the goldfish.

Poor Figaro gets the short end of the stick a lot in this movie, but he's one of my favorites

Cleo is bubbly and a little flirty and... seriously how sexualized can a fish be? (Yes, I'm aware of Rule 34)

Sexy fish points go to Dreamworks and confession here: I saw this in theaters, damn it Katzenburg!

Geppetto performs "Little Wooden Head" and while I didn't watch this movie as a kid, I owned the "Colors of the Wind" Sing Along Songs VHS and I watched it a lot.

...Sorry, had a flashback there, man I feel old

Even as a kid, I admired all the little details in the animation: the gears, the little figures moving on the music boxes and the cuckoo clocks in Geppetto's workshop. And fair warning, there's going to be a bit of: AND IT'S ALL HANDDRAWN WITHOUT COMPUTERS (minus the caps lock) in this review. Disney himself had real life models made for all the props in this movie.

It's now time for bed, but Geppetto sees the wishing star and wishes for Pinocchio to be a real boy. Jiminy overhears this and comments that it's a lovely thought, but certainly not practical. (Agreed, kids are expensive and you can't even claim a puppet boy as a dependent on your taxes.)

The Blue Fairy appears and (sorta) grants Geppetto's wish. She tells him to be "brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday, you will be a real boy." He has to let his conscience guide him and Pinocchio asks what is a conscience. Jiminy winds up volunteering (the Blue Fairy charms him into it really, but Jiminy is pretty flirty towards anything that looks female, it's sorta weird). The Blue Fairy leaves, Pinocchio and Jiminy sing "Give a Little Whistle", and wake up Geppetto. While Snow White dragged out so many little scenes like this, Geppetto finds Pinocchio soon enough. He begins celebrating by turning on all the clocks and music boxes and gathering toys for his new son. While he's busy, Pinocchio and Figaro play with a candle and this happens:

I get that the Blue Fairy left some stuff out. So he knows how to talk after coming to life but not fire =  burns wood?

  
Geppetto learns what happens when you leave your young and naive children by themselves (and proceeds to forget it afterwards) and puts out Pinocchio's finger in Cleo's fishbowl. Poor Cleo and her home is covered in soot (not sure if that's supposed to happen in real life, but I'm not going to test that out). Father and son and cat are tucked into bed and Geppetto informs Pinocchio he's going to school in the morning. Pinocchio does that kid thing about asking "Why?" and Geppetto tells him he has to get smarter (kid, first things first, touching fire = bad). The boy asks, "Why?" again and Geppetto does that parent thing of answering, "Because."

The next shot: the multi-plane camera panning across Geppetto's village is a technical marvel. Creating this film was incredibly expensive (all those beautiful little details weren't cheap) and it wouldn't make back its budget for a long time. The darker storyline and a little thing called World World II shrunk potential audiences overseas and at home. Pinocchio's box office disappointment greatly saddened Mr. Disney. The film cost about $2.6 million (about $43.5 million today, still not an small sum for Disney's studio only on its second feature). This shot alone was either $25,000 or $48,000 (sources vary) which is about $417,000 or $801,000 today (Awesomely expensive though). It's also one of the few scenes in the movie that takes place in the daytime.

I want to outright state that I am not an animation expert (especially not in the technical sense). I am merely an overzealous Disney fangirl who can't draw/paint/perform simple arts and crafts to save her life. I know things, but not everything because I read books sometimes and watch documentaries when I'm bored.

 Admitting that this man was a huge part of my childhood may reflect poorly on me, but whatever.

I credit this site for the village shot (incredibly hard to find, Disney please don't take this down, people should be able to admire this technical marvel) and they have a great article on the technical aspect of making Pinocchio. All I can do is go "Ooohhhhh wowwwwwwwww, all this without computers back then!"

Geppetto sends Pinocchio off to school with his book and an apple for his teacher. Umm.. sure you don't want to walk him to school and explain to the teacher why the newest student is made of wood? Or to make sure in general Pinocchio gets to school safely because it's his first day and last night he almost set himself on fire? But I don't have kids, and when you don't have kids, you can't really tell parents what to do.

Pinocchio ends up meeting our first villains, Honest John and Gideon and I love these guys. They're a great comic duo who remind me of the old Looney Tunes cartoons.

The talking fox and his silent cat partner marvel at the walking wooden boy because that's the strangest thing in world apparently. Jiminy wakes up late on his first day on the job as conscience and isn't able to stop Pinocchio from being sold to Stromboli by them. He manages to catch Pinocchio's first show where he performs the famous "I've Got No Strings" and as of right now in March 2015, all the comments on the original version are about Avengers: Age of Ultron because Disney owns Marvel, Star Wars, and eventually the entire universe (of course sharing alongside our future overlords, Google and Apple).

Pinocchio is an instant hit with the audience and Jiminy wonders if he was going to lead his charge away from a life of success. "What does an actor want with a conscience anyways?" The whole Stromboli segment is just chock-full of stereotypes (Jiminy ogles the French puppet girls doing the can-can because he's a horndog cricket). Fun fact, the final act of the show was supposed to feature a jungle scene with dancing Ubangi puppets because Ubangi dancers were a craze in the U.S. at the time. (I'm just going to say we dodged a bullet there.) But we haven't touched full-blown racist Disney territory yet.

-sigh- Hi Sunflower...

Stromboli's puppets: Stereotypes haven't changed much since the '40's have they?

He's supposed to be Italian, but I'm pretty sure there's other ethnic stereotypes attached to this character

At the end of the show, Pinocchio says he's heading off to home because he doesn't know yet how a kidnapping is supposed to work. Stromboli proceeds to lock him in a birdcage and you can feel the terror and sadness of poor Pinocchio as he is carted far away from his father.

An actor's life isn't as gay as he thought it would be (that is quoted from the song he sang earlier with Honest John)

Jiminy sneaks into the caravan to find Pinocchio trapped, but he's unable to pick the lock. They both sit and wait for a miracle out of their situation. Meanwhile, Geppetto heads out on his own to try to find Pinocchio and waits for a certain puppeteer and his caravan to go by.

So close and yet so far :(

Pinocchio's miracle comes in the timely arrival of the Blue Fairy and Jiminy finally starts doing his job by urging him to tell the truth. But if the puppet boy did that, we wouldn't have our iconic scene as his nose starts growing with each lie he tells. (Though why would you lie to the obviously all powerful magical fairy who granted you life in the first place?) She gives him a second chance and frees Pinocchio from his birdcage. It's also mentioned this is the last time she can offer help and is no longer seen in the movie.

She had another side job of pissing off Stanley Kubrick fans. 

We cut over to the Red Lobster Inn where Honest John and Gideon brag to the Coachman about selling Pinocchio to Stromboli. He proceeds to tell them about a proposition offering more money involving stupid boys and Pleasure Island (and wow does this old-timey creepy scene sound even more creepier today). Even Honest John gets freaked out at the mention of Pleasure Island because of some law and the Coachman tells them not to worry because "the boys don't come back... as BOYS!"

Do you hear that? That's sound of traumatized children screaming from past, present, and future.

Honest John and Gideon find Pinocchio again and offer him a vacation to Pleasure Island. Poor Pinocchio practically gets dragged away and Jiminy hops a ride on the coach. "Here we go again." You know something bad is going to happen on Pleasure Island and all those boys think they're going to have the time of their lives in this eerie carnival wonderland.

I also have a fear of clowns so yay again for not watching this as a kid!

I have my own theories about what exactly Pleasure Island is and I have to believe either something demonic or black magic is involved. We never see any workers there in the fairgrounds, just a unseen voice urging the boys to fight, smoke cigars, destroy a house, and do other delinquent boys things. All the carnival attractions seem to be automated and the Coachman is only human adult we see. I don't count the black shadowy figures that work as his henchmen loading up the crates and shutting the doors because they probably only exist and are creations of the island itself. I think the Coachman probably sold his soul or is a servant of the island in order to gain wealth. Hence why he assumes control of the shadow figures and is allowed to enter and leave the island despite the law.

Jiminy knows something's wrong about the island and finds Pinocchio smoking and playing pool (not sure how that second activity counts as delinquent behavior, maybe it's an old fashioned thing). Lampwick, Pinocchio's new friend on the island, teases him and shoots him into the corner pocket when Jiminy hops onto the 8 ball. Having not learned his lesson yet, Jiminy is insulted and leaves Pinocchio again (Blue Fairy may be all powerful, but she's not the best at picking a conscience). The cricket demands to be let off the island and finds out the big secret (and why the Coachman didn't own horses to pull his coach). He rushes to save Pinocchio, but he's seen what happens to bad little boys on Pleasure Island (still sounds so wrong) when Lampwick falls to the curse (add that to the checklist of this movie's trademark traumatizing moments). Jiminy and Pinocchio escape the island mid-transformation by jumping off a cliff and swimming back home (so Pinocchio knows how to swim and talk without learning how to, but not fire... ok I should stop being nitpicky on that detail).

They arrive back at Geppetto's cottage only to find it long abandoned. A message from the Blue Fairy informs them that a whale named Monstro has swallowed him when he was off searching for Pinocchio. So how do we know the whale wasn't trying to help a father find his lost son?

"Because that's Pixar and not Disney!"

Logic be damned that a puppet boy and a cricket never need to resurface for air, the whole underwater sequence is amazing: all the little sea creatures following Pinocchio and Jiminy and the tiny bubbles whenever they talk or move, the waves, everything handrawn and without computers! (last time I swear on me mum). Meanwhile, Geppetto and Figaro are trying to fish for food inside Monstro the whale which begs the question of whether Cleo the goldfish has been eating her own kind to stay alive (only Disney can make me type sentences like these). Because it's the final act, Pinocchio and Geppetto are quickly reunited inside the whale. Jiminy is stuck outside and it's a funny size comparison as he demands the whale to be let in. Pinocchio comes up with a great idea to start a big ole fire inside Monstro to make him sneeze (that puppet sure loves fire). That pisses off the giant whale even though whales are generally social, gentle creatures...

The documentary that wrecked SeaWorld's stock value 

Geppetto, Figaro, Cleo, and Jiminy make it safely onto shore because Disney won't kill their cute animal/sidekick characters (yet).  Unfortunately, Pinocchio doesn't make it because he's dead(?) He didn't drown because we just saw him walk across the ocean floor with no problem so I'm going to assume blunt force trauma by tidal wave caused by a whale.

Everyone makes it back home and mourns Pinocchio, but the puppet boy has proven his worth and the Blue Fairy turns him to a real boy.

I don't know if it's just me, but the nose really puts me off, I miss puppet boy.

Jiminy heads outside through the window and the Blue Fairy magically gives him an 18 carat Official Conscience badge."Solid gold!" (No Jiminy, pure gold is 24 carats and is more soft than solid). Honestly that cricket doesn't deserve a 24 carat badge, he only saved Pinocchio once on Pleasure Island out of two kidnappings and one giant whale escape that Pinocchio thought of himself. In the end, everyone lives happily ever after, including the villains (yup, everyone gets off scot free). Pinocchio is pretty unique in the Disney Canon in that aspect.

Closing thoughts: Pinocchio is consistently ranked in the top animation movies and it's deserving of that status. The plot may be episodic, but it flows quite well and it is a trait passed from its source material. It has its light-hearted moments, but most people remember the dark, creepy imagery from this movie and that's not something you see a lot of in Disney today. Yes, there's deaths and creepy imagery from the Renaissance and the Revival (I'm going to date that as post Meet the Robinsons- current) eras, but it never hits uncomfortable as it does in this movie. The Blue Fairy turned Pinocchio into a real boy because he was "brave, truthful, and unselfish", a simple morality tale. However, Pinocchio met terrible and cruel figures along the way who continue to do evil in his world without consequences it seems. Jiminy is a nice guy and all, but now Pinocchio has his own conscience he must develop and will probably learn even harsher lessons as he grows up. Geppetto had better learned his lesson about keeping an eye on his no-longer wooden puppet son.

Because I don't have the nostalgia for it, Pinocchio won't be one of my go-to Disney movies when I'm bored or sick (also Coachman's face gives me the heebie jeebies). It is an excellent film that deserves rewatching a year or two down the road.

So what movie am I watching next?

All set to classical music? I feel smarter and classier already.